Alien Loves Predator: A  Christmas Special
by J.C. Conner
Summary: Abe the Alien and Preston the Predator get a special and disturbing christmas suprise from their parents that they'll really never forget or forgive. Based off the "Alien Loves Predator" web-comics.


"Merry Christmas, Preston!" Abe shouted.

The Predator roared at his Alien roommate for waking him up as he'd slept. "Do you _have _to yelled?"

"Don't be a….Grinch-like Predator." Abe said. "I think Santa Claus has left you something under the tree."

"Abe, for the thousandth time: THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS." Preston groaned. "The gifts are from me."

"No there not." Abe said.

"Yes there are."

"Not there not."

"Look man," Preston said. "Just leave me alone." Preston then goes back to sleep. He starts to dream about Corrina wearing nothing but high heels.

"_RRRRIIIINNNNNGGG!" _Corrina said, her mouth wide open.

"WTF?"

"It's your dad!" Abe shouted.

Preston groaned. His father never calls him for anything. Hell, they barely even talk to each since Preston moved in with Abe and Pa wasn't no fan of Aliens. After that "accident" with Abe's Ma, Pa was totally racist towards any Alien.

"Tell him I'm..umm…busy."

"Okay." Abe said. A few seconds later, Abe shouted: "Hey said and I quote "I'm coming to see you for Christmas, you sorry excuse for a son."

That pissed Preston off. "That…of all-I'm going give him a piece of my mind!"

Preston grabbed the phone of the hook with pure rage. "Listen here, what ever you have to say-"

"_Quieres un taco?"_

"Si,"

"Abe," Preston said, calmly.

"Yeah, buddy?"

"What the hell happen to my dad?"

"Oh yeah he'd hung up already." Abe said.

"Abe…" Preston warned.

"Hang on Sr. Taco, someone is on the other line." Abe said, switching calls. "Abe's Sex Fantasy, where I do what you tell me, how can I help you?"

"I can't believe you still live in that tiny shit hole."

"Hi, Ma!" Abe said annoyed. "Merry Christmas. How many brothers did I get for Christmas this year?"

"This is what I am to you? A baby making machine?" Ma said offended. "I have sacrifice a lot for you and your 200,000 brothers, my looks, my social life-"

"You still look the same _before _and _after _having kids." Abe said. "And you _will _still look the same when you stop making babies."

"You and your brothers are so ungrateful to me." Ma said. "This why I wanted a girl, you know-"

"You stay this every time you have a boy, which is a total to 200,000 times."

"Don't be a smart ass, Abraham." His mother warned. "I called to tell you that I'm coming over. There's something you should know."

"Yeah about that. I don't think its wise-"

"WHY THE HELL NOT?"

"Well…um…Preston's dad is also coming over-"

"This involves him too. See you at 5:30."

"No way in hell is your mother is going to be in the same room with my father," Preston argued.

"Then tell your dad that he can't come."

"Why my dad? Tell your mom."

"Are you fucking crazy? She 20 ft tall." Abe yelled.

"It was her fault."

"No."

"Yes it was." Preston said.

* * *

_**September 25, 2004 (6 years ago) Applebee's**_

"_Ma, this is Preston's dad Paul."_

"_And dad this is Abe's mom, Abby."_

_The Alien Queen look at the Elder Predator. They seemed happy with each other. _

"_It's good to meet a woman of your….size." Paul said, taking Abby's hand and placed a small kiss on it._

_Both Preston and Abe made gagging sounds at what they just saw. _

"_Excuse me? A woman of my size?" Abby said. "You saying that I'm fat?"_

"_No, I was giving you-" Paul said but was cut off by Abby, who raised her smaller hands to silence him._

"_Oh shit," Abe and Preston said, quietly drinking their "Bud" beer. The Applebee's waiter had just came with their food._

_Abby had smack the food tray out of the waiter's hands, causing the food to spread from the walls to other customers._

"_I don't need to lose weight."_

"_I was trying to be nice to you," Paul said. "Over-sized bitch!"_

"_Pussy face!"_

_Paul launched himself over the table and attacked Abby._

"_CALL THE POLICE! 911! THE FBI! THE SWAT! ANY FUCKING BODY!"_

"Yeah it was totally her fault." Abe agreed.

* * *

**Christmas 5:40**

"Where the hell are they?" Abe said pacing back and fourth. "They're late!"

"1). It's only ten minutes and 2). Stop that you're making me nervous." Preston said, watching the Los Angeles Lakers against the Miami Heats. "What the hell did your mom mean my dad is involved too? They haven't talked to each other in 6 years!"

"Maybe they have a child!"

"Okay 1). That's very stupid. 2). You're very, very stupid." Preston laughed.

"I'll bet you $50.00 bucks then."

"Alright, I accepted." Preston said.

Someone knocked one the door. "Abe, it mommy."

"There here." Abe said, rushing to the door to open it. When he open it, he saw both his mom and Preston's dad, together holding hands.

"Um…Preston?"

"Yeah?"

"They're here and holding hands."

"WHAT!"

Preston quickly got up from his chair and walked to the door. "What the hell is this?"

The Elder Predator gave his son a death glare. "Merry Christmas to you son."

"Don't call me son." Preston said, mandibles flared. "Now what the fuck do you two want to tell me and Abe?"

"Its more of a show you." Abby said.

"You two together? Well that's….bad." Abe said.

"No, you idiot." Paul said. "Well this and….Penny Abigail."

"Who the hell is Jenny Gabrielle?" Abe asked.

Preston smacked him across the head. "No he said "Penny Abigail."

"What happen was that I saw Abby a few days ago at a "Starbucks" and we started talking and one thing lead to-" Paul explained but was suddenly cut off by Abe.

"Oh no, you two didn't do what I'm thinking you did, right?" Abe begged. "Please tell me this is Christmas Fools Day." Abe banged his head against the wall causing cracks to appear.

"I'm going to be sick." Preston said.

"Shut up and say hi to your first baby sister Abe," Abby said. "And my first girl, Penny Abigail."

A Prealien appeared, wearing earrings and re lipstick. She was as tall as Preston and looked somewhat like Abe except for the mandibles and the dreadlocks. She looked annoyed.

"You think this is bad," Penny said. "Be glad that you didn't hear them how they made me."

"STOP. TERMINATE. MUST KILL THE MAN WHO KNOCKED UP MY MOTHER." Abe said in a robot like voice.

"Dad…my best friend's mom?"

"Come on," Paul said. "Abby's great. Oh way she uses her smaller arms…"

"And the way his mandibles-"

"STOP TALKING!" Abe, Penny, and Preston said.

"We brought y'all gifts that you'll like."

"Don't think gifts is going to make this all go away," Abe said. His mother unwrapped his gift. "Except for "PlayBoy"

MERRY CHRISTMAS.


End file.
